Scented candles should come with a warning

Most of us spent 9 months growing inside her, and usually another 18 years in her company, so a lot of us will associate a particular smell with our mother. Like most (if not all) mums in the world, my mother also has a 'smell.'

Despite a few failed attempts to give up and against the advise of her husband and 6 loving children, my mum remains an active smoker and so this smell incorporates a hint of smoke. And because of her favourite fragrance being so loyally worn, then this smell also includes a trace of her perfume. As such, when my mum returns from a hard day at work and duly lights up a (in her opinion, well deserved) cigarette, then I usually smell her before I see or even hear her - mainly due to her favourite smoking haunt on the patio being perfectly lined up with my bedroom window. Yesterday evening was no exception and so, whilst enjoying my evening in the company of a good book, I 'smelt' my mother arrive home and rushed downstairs to pass on a telephone message to her. However, arriving downstairs there was no car in the driveway, no light on in the back garden and she was no where to be seen. Weird, I had definitely smelt her.

Now I'm not normally a paranormally minded man, but at this moment I distinctly remembered hearing stories of people who smelt their loved ones at the time they passed, as their spirit stopped by to say their goodbyes before moving on. I'm not sure why this rather morbid memory sprung up in my mind, but the fact that it did only caused my mind to wander further. I actually started to get a little worried, my heartbeat increasing more with every minute, and I wasn't far off ringing her mobile (which she probably wouldn't have answered anyway) just to check she was okay. Getting a little bit panicked, then I was about to make that call....

And imagine my relief when the door opened and in she walked safe and sound, and very much still walking on this planet. However, also imagine my internal embarrassment when re-entering my bedroom to (re)discover the smouldering, scented candle I had lit -and forgot all about - earlier in the evening; the cause of the smokey, perfumey smell after all. Oops.

Maybe scented candles should come with a warning? Then again, maybe not.

Holland; the land of 2-storey trains, bikes, hookers and weed.

I'm a guy who enjoys taking a risk, so a coach arriving at Stansted at 4pm and a flight departing at 5pm didn't (quite) scare me. But when the coach was delayed then I will admit my heart did skip a beat. I arrived with all of 20 minutes to pass through security and dash to the gate. But the long queue at security and broken down airport scanner were having other ideas. I had to beg to be allowed to join a new line with a fully working scanner and skip to the front - but only after the inevitable setting off of the alarm and experiencing the joys of a full body search, could I start the mad run to the gate. Once I arrived at the said gate, sweating off a full stone in body weight, you can only imagine the looks of my dear fellow passengers once I was seated next to them on the plane.

During the shortest flight I have ever flown - just 40 minutes, you almost start landing before you even take off - the dear Lord found the good grace to give me a nice 10 minutes or so of some quite fun turbulence. And may I point out here that having once been on a particularly testing flight from Milan involving David Baddiel, a diabetic coma, a passenger having a fit and a 10,000 foot drop in altitude in about 10 seconds- but that's a whole different story - then flying most certainly isn't my forte. I eventually arrived in to Holland to pouring rain and a rather ill host for the weekend. Luckily the rain soon stopped, and what was at first a rather overcast affair became a clear and crisp weekend away, but only after walking a mile in the wrong direction whilst trying to find the hotel. Not even this however could dampen my boyish (probably immature) enthusiasm at the trams in the city, or the 2 storey-trains. And the awesome weekend I spent in Amsterdam.

I took in the cultural Rijksmuseum (Empire Museum), Amsterdam Historical Museum, Homomonument, Anne Frank's house and a canal tour and then the not so cultural but far more entertaining Sex museum! My geeky charm once again reared it's ugly head in my love for the houseboats on the canals (in which I have vowed to live one day) and the vast number of bikes that at times seemed to outnumber the inhabitants - for the 750,000 people in Amsterdam, there are 600,000 bikes! Finally got to see the world-famous coffee shops with a few very stoned inhabitants clearly enjoying their time, but will wait for another occasion to pay for one of the equally world-famous prostitutes in the red light district!

I was hungry & exhausted from all these activities and so opted for the easy option of a large portion of chips to fill the gap in my belly, not realising that in Holland a large portion of chips is enough to feed a small family for an entire year of course..

Just to spice things up, the Sunday was the 35th Amsterdam Marathon and nearly all public transport was cancelled, so needless to say a lot of walking was involved. But Amsterdam isn't too big, and its a nice, clean city to walk around and in the chilly autumn sunshine it was a nice experience. I flew back in to the UK that evening on a (thankfully) not-so eventful flight, ready to visit my brother in Cambridge the following day. After a whole weekend of journeys (coach-flight-bus-train-tram-walking-tram-walking-tram-walking-train-bus-flight-car), then yet another journey was made to Cambridge by train. I arrived at the train station just in the nick of time (thanks to missing my bus) the train pulls into platform 4, while I'm at the other side of the station at Platofrm 1a which is where the screen told me to be! After yet another mad dash, I eventually get on to the train to be told it will only go as far as Bury due to a fatality on the line, and that I have to get a coach onwards to Cambridge. I did eventually get to Cambridge, which coincidentally was another city full of bikes - two hours later than scheduled and had a day of shopping followed by a night of drinking, and a day of recovery afterwards.

All-in-all, a fun and eventful few days away in both Holland and the UK!